If Indian Dadi Nuskas Were Applied to Vastu, What Would They Say

If the Indian grandmother occupies the Vastu, every house would be practically invincible, like a desi version of Hogwarts, but with less broom and more pickle. Instead of hiring a Vastu advisor, just call Grandmother And see it a solution to cosmic alignment issues with kitchen materials every day.

Mismatch furniture syndrome

If the furniture is not aligned, the grandmother would say that this is because the sofa does not respect the dining table. Solution? Sprinkle turmeric under each leg, while chanting some vague Bollywood, preferably

We have sixty sixty han

Turmeric purifies, and the play ensures harmony.

Kitchen chaos and family fights

If it is an episode like family debate

Bigg Boss

Grandma will say this is because gas stoves and water sinks are very close. Fire and water should not be mixed, the same way neighbor and general knowledge. Insert a silver coin between them to create a peaceful truss. If the bonus points are King George in the coin, then it matters.

Bedroom blues and no romance

If a breakup is cold of the bedroom compared to the text, it is because the bed is in the wrong direction. Grandma slaps some ghee on the bedpost and insisted on putting a mirror in a place, where it does not reflect anyone in the bed. According to him, mirrors attract ghosts and bad decisions at night. Is not ready for anyone.

Main gate drama

If the main door refuses or refuses to open easily, the grandmother will lukewarm something about evil spirits and sprinkle rock salt at the entrance. Obviously, salt scares everything from negative energy to eager aunt. For additional safety, do a Nimbu-Mirchi combo stick just above the door, such as it is a VIP pass for heaven.

Bathroom crisis and unemployment

If someone is still unemployed after ten motivational seminars, the grandmother will blame the bathroom. Water represents money, and the leak tap basically flows like cash payments. Tighten the tap, smear some sandalwood paste on the door, and pray to the nearest basil plant. The problem is solved, or at least postponed.

Living Room Energy Crisis

If the living room feels dull as Monday morning, the grandmother will suggest burning camphor in all corners. Not only does it smell like divine intervention, but it also confuses negative energy in thinking in a temple.

Param Dadi Vastu Mantra

When the rest fails, chant “Om Bhendi Fry Namah”, sweeping the floor with neem leaves. If nothing else, it will confuse bad vibes out of pure strangeness.