Winning your first individual Olympic medal is a moment worth celebrating. This is a huge achievement beyond the dreams of most people. However, this is not an opportunity to confess to cheating on someone and try to win them back in front of the whole world.
On Tuesday, Sturla Holm Lagrid won her first individual Olympic medal in the 20 kilometer individual biathlon at the Winter Olympics in Milan-Cortina.
Shortly after winning, Lagrid gave an interview to Norwegian broadcaster NRK, revealing that he was unfaithful to his ex-girlfriend and that he had told her about it a week earlier. The confession erupted on social media and even the most cursory glance at the comments shows that the Internet is almost unanimously in her favor.
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“Six months ago I met the love of my life – the most beautiful and kindest man in the world. Three months ago I made my biggest mistake and betrayed him,” Lagrid said, speaking in between confessions.
He further said, “I won a gold medal in life, and I’m sure there will be many people who will see things differently, but I only have eyes on him.” “Sports has taken a backseat these past few days. Yes, I wish I could share that with him.”
You might be wondering why this very personal information should be shared with the world? Lagreide later explained his reasons for doing so in an interview with Norwegian newspaper VG.
He said, “My only way to solve this is to tell everything and lay everything out, and hope that she can still love me.”
He said, “I did it for her, and now for the whole world. I have nothing to lose.” “I want to be a good role model, but I have to admit when I make mistakes.”
However, Laegrid did not stop talking. In another interview he said that he has not received any response from his ex-girlfriend. “I didn’t get any reaction from the girl I mentioned,” he said during the Olympics press conference. “I’m happy because maybe she hasn’t seen it, maybe she’ll see it at the right time. I hope I don’t make anything worse for her.”
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“I hope there’s a happy ending in the end,” he said.
First, he has almost certainly seen it. Secondly, there is a high risk that going public like this will make the situation worse for him. Third, now expressing hope for a “happy ending” puts additional pressure on the former partner. And the commenters are commenting.
A comment on the BBC Sport Instagram reel of Lagreid’s follow-up interview read, “This is emotional manipulation packaged as a grand gesture.” “The happy ending is this: She won’t forgive him!” declares a comment on the same post, which received over 15K likes. Another commentator writes, “If guilt were an Olympics, it would win gold.”
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“Forgiveness is hard. Even after professing love for the whole world. I didn’t choose to be put in this position, and it hurts to be in it.”
The problem with televised declarations of repentance is that they expose the wrong side to the court of public opinion, a court that has already rendered its verdict. And yes, it’s not looking good for Legreid.
By breaking this story to the press and social media, Lagrid has drawn further attention to an already painful situation. VG said to a press outlet, “He is in contact with Holm Laegreid’s ex-girlfriend. She wishes to remain anonymous in this matter, a request VG has accepted as she has not sought publicity in connection with any private matter.” VG later reported that Lagrid’s former girlfriend had given a written statement: “It’s hard to forgive. Even after declaring love in front of the whole world. I didn’t choose to be put in this position, and it’s sad to be in it,” she wrote. “We have communicated and he is aware of my opinion on this.” When asked by VG, Legreid declined to comment on his response.
Perhaps Laegrid thought it would be a romantic gesture of apology at the cost of his own reputation. For all we know he would have exhausted all other personal options to express his remorse. I’ve heard stories of people who have been blocked from all means of communication, so they try to contact their former friends on Vinted or transfer small amounts (we’re talking pennies) via bank transfer with the word “sorry” as the payment reference. These acts of desperation are almost always unwanted. And in many cases, they are intrusive and manipulative.
This private pain has now turned into public internet fodder. But, what about the woman who might have been sitting at home nursing a broken heart, who now has to deal with the added pressure to react, respond or even accept his apology?
If this woman takes him back, he will also have to face judgment from the masses of the internet who are currently urging him not to give her another chance. On the contrary, if she chooses not to respond further then she may also be judged. You’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t. Whether he wanted to or not, Lagrid would have increased this woman’s pain and put her in a difficult, public situation.
It’s only been a week since she found out about his betrayal and this woman may still be processing hurt feelings. Even if he does take her back – heavy emphasis on ‘if’ here – it will probably take him more than a week to get to the point of even considering it.
Let the record go on: It is perfectly acceptable – and dare I say it, appropriate – to ignore this gesture. We all make mistakes in life and some of them cause real emotional pain. But these are sensitive conversations that should happen in private, behind closed doors. You can’t force someone to forgive you. Send him an email instead. And if she doesn’t respond, you have to respect that silence.
Lagreid later issued a statement expressing regret over his confession:
“I deeply regret that I brought out this personal story on a day of celebration of Norwegian biathlon. I am not well today, and I am not thinking clearly,” he wrote in a statement published by VG.
“I apologize to Johan-Olav, who deserved all the attention after the gold medal. Also to my ex-girlfriend, who inadvertently stepped into the media spotlight, I hope she is doing well. I can’t change it, but I will put it behind me now and focus on the Olympics. I will not answer any more questions about this.”
I hope this woman turned off her phone and went to the spa with some supportive friends. It’s time to log off.
